I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
