The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
