Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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