He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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