I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
