we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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