The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
