I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
