we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize