that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
