You're my little dorito
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
