I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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