just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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