Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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