No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I intend to get homeless drunk
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
