belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ketchup is God's man juice
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
