Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
