I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
