My room smells like vodka and shame
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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