Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
