didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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