so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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