I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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