don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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