Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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