I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
