wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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