i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
