Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
