I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
