I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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