took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
