It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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