I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize