True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
