I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
