so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
