oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
