did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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