last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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