I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
