How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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