Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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