Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
