i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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