also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
