look no pants
I have demons in me.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
