love makes seman taste better
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm both gender and math confused
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
