all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
try to milk me bitch
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