Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
