BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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