So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
