i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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