Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
