wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
