help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
