you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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