Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
